And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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