Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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