Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize