one might say we're banned from that church
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
