he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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