Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
