He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
