Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
