her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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