ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
