are you so shy because you have an std?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
