It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I will be naked everywhere
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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