At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
is this the sara with the beer cane?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize