saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
