Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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