I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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