If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
