how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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