I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
