she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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