The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
