Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
