Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Walk of Shame today included voting.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
