I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
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