eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
