I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
