We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
