and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
