new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
