He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I should be sponsored by Trojan
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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