i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
