Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
