i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
