She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
