There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
