For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
These tits shall not be calmed
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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