It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
