We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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