Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize