i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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