at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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