I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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