Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize
