Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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