Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
