K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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