belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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