i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize