I can't watch pbs sober anymore
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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