Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
