At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
