Church boner. Awkwardddd
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
