yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
