Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
