Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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