i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
