There is no way he is gay with that hair.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I am available for nakedness
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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