No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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