can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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