If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
