That's intense
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Did I show you my penis last night?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
