if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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