i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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