He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
