Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
