the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
