Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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