There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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