i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
