Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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