I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
