I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
