its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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