he shaved USA in his pubs
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
