are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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