I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize