You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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