May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
