she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Two words: nipple clamps
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