i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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