All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
