I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
