Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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