How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
