saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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