I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize