Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
